Guides ·
Funeral Flower Etiquette: What to Send and When
Almost everyone ordering funeral flowers is doing it for the first time and quietly worried about getting it wrong. Here is the whole thing in plain terms.
Who sends what
The main thing to know is that one piece is spoken for and the rest are open.
The casket spray — the arrangement that lies on the casket itself — is traditionally chosen and paid for by the immediate family. There is normally one. If you are not immediate family, this is not your piece to send.
Everyone else sends standing sprays on easels, basket arrangements, or vase arrangements. All three are appropriate, none outranks the others, and the choice is mostly about budget and the room.
Colleagues and groups commonly go in together on a single larger standing spray rather than sending several small pieces. It looks better and it costs each person less.
The question that actually matters
When you call a florist, the single most useful thing you can provide is the funeral home name and the service or visitation time.
Funeral homes only accept flowers within a window before the service. Too early and there is nowhere to put them. Too late and the family has already gone home. We work backwards from the service time, which is why we ask for it before we ask what you want to spend.
If you missed the service
Send something to the house two weeks later instead. This is the most underrated gesture in the whole category.
The first few days after a death bring a flood of people, food and flowers. Then it stops, abruptly, and the house goes very quiet exactly when the family is least able to cope with it. An arrangement arriving in that stretch lands differently than one more piece at a crowded visitation. Send something low and self-contained for a kitchen counter — nothing that needs a vase found or water managed.
Colour, and whether white is required
White and green is traditional and never wrong. But it is not a rule, and colour is increasingly common and often more fitting.
We have built sympathy arrangements in bright yellow, in hot pink, and once entirely in sunflowers, because that is who the person was. If you knew them and you know what they loved, say so. That instinct is almost always right.
When not to send flowers
Check the obituary and, if you know it, the family's faith. Some Jewish funerals traditionally do not include flowers, and some Hindu and Buddhist observances have their own customs. Obituaries often specify a charity in lieu of flowers — follow that exactly if it is there.
When in doubt, a donation plus a delivery to the family's home after the service covers both bases respectfully.